Instagram Dump #14

Nobody should use Instagram. It’s terrible.

a photo of the label that canada post puts on mail that has been damaged

Canada Post is the worst. They’re always breaking things, losing them or being horrible slow.

a photo of three "aesthetic" notebooks

I believe these notebooks are what the kids these days call “aesthetic”.

a photo of a green leuchtturm notebook with an orange cat sticker on the cover

I stuck a cute kitty sticker on the front of this Leuchtturm notebook.

I have no idea how to pronouce “Leuchtturm”.

a photo of a kodak ektra cellphone

This is a Kodak Ektra cellphone. It has Android 6, a small battery and a Sony sensor, but it shoots in RAW and has a dedicated shutter button, so I enjoy it. It was also discounted by $300, so that was nice.

a photo of the dedicated shutter button on the kodak ektra cellphone

Look at the dedicated shutter button! Be amazed!

a photo of the leather case for the kodak ektra cellphone

This is the leather case for the Kodak Ektra cellphone. I got it for free because why would anybody want this?

a photo of a glass decanter that is blue with a pointy stopper

We don’t even put liquid in it, because it’s hard to clean, but this blue decanter is pretty to look at.

a photo of a green glass decanter with a design etched into its surface

This decanter is dirty on the inside. I like the pattern etched into it, though.

a photo of some shelves with a large amount of vhs tapes on them

My family has a large amount of VHS tapes. People tell me that the Disney tapes are worth a lot of money, but I’m not sure about that.

a closeup photo of a pinecone sitting in some snow

This is a pinecone. There are a lot of pinecones in Canada.

a photo of some rocks, roots and snow

Nature is beautiful. But it will eat you.

a photo of a pink rock candy and a blue rock candy

Rock candy is mostly a novelty. I don’t think the taste is all that great and the texture is unpleasant.

a photo of a hand wearing a giant jeweled ring with lots of jewels

This ring is WAY too bit for my tiny, weird child hand.

a photo of jewel earrings in green, blue, red and white

These earrings are heavy. I should get some of those earring support patches that go on the back of your earlobe, so my ear holes don’t get stretched out.

a photo of a tin of limited edition vaseline lip therapy in pink bubbly flavour

I think that they put out this limited edition Vaseline for the royal wedding. It is very special.

a photo of a very large metal crocodile neck that is encrusted with rhinestones

This necklace is very heavy. I probably should wear jewellry that can cause my body horrible damage.

a photo of a black rhinestone necklace with black rhinestone skulls hanging off of it

This necklace is for Valentine’s Day.

a photo of a yellow gudetama squeeze toy and a white gudetama squeeze toy

These are some Gudetama squeeze toy. I like Gudetama, but the character of a clinically depressed egg is a bit messed up for a country that has problems with metal health and suicide. The “I Love DB” hashtag is there because I wanted to win more squishies.

a photo of two yarn cakes

These are some Bernat Pop! yarn cakes in “moonshadow” and “paisley pop”.

I think that yarn cakes are mostly just for Instagram photos. There’s no added utility to the cake shape, it just looks pretty.

a comparison shot of a used, stretched-out yarn cake next to a fresh one
More Cakey!

And then the yarn cakes don’t even stay cake shaped. After using a yarn cake for a bit, they get stretched out.


Instagram Dump #13

I don’t know why I link to my Instagram account. Instagram is owned by Facebook and Facebook is ruining the world.

a photo of the cap off of a radeberger pilsner bottle

I don’t remember at all what Radeberger Pilsner tastes like, but I thought it was important enough to take a photo of the cap.

a closeup of the text from two face sheet masks. one read "hydrating and soothing" and the other reads "moisturizing and soothing"

What is the difference between “hydrating” and “moisturizing”? WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE!?

a photo of and amazon order of yarn that came in three separate box and an envelope

This was one order of yarn from Amazon that came in three separate boxes and an envelope. There was also some air bags and paper packing, because we wouldn’t want the yarn to break.

a photo of a weird sticker thing that reads "SUPER-CLEAN Do Not Eat"
What does it mean!?

This weird sticker thing was in a purse that I bought. I have no idea what it means or what it was for.

a photo of a camera that has been jury-rigged to film upside down

I jury-rigged my crappy camera to film upside down to record a horrible video about fidget spinners.

a photo of a tye-dyed fidget spinner

And here is one of the fidget spinners!

a photo of a saw blade-shaped fidget spinner with a checkerboard pattern on it

And here is another fidget spinner!

a photo of a fidget spinner with a bluetooth speak embedded in it

This fidget spinner has a bluetooth speaker in it. I don’t know why. I don’t know why fidget spinners exist in the first place.

a photo of a fidget spinner with four gears in it

The gears in this fidget spinner don’t actually move when it is spinning. I’m very upset about that.

a metal fidget spinner that is shaped like the orchid from the hong kong flag
Hong Kong!

I thought that this fidget spinner was shaped like a regular flower at first, but then I noticed it was, in fact, shaped like the flower from the Hong Kong flag.

an image of a glitch generated by a broken cellphone camera

This is a glitch that my old cellphone’s camera generated as it was dying. RIP old cellphone.

a photo of a talking witch halloween decoration

I think that these talking Halloween decorations are really annoying.

a photo of a gold skeleton pocket watch
Timey Wimey!

I got this watch off of AliExpress and it doesn’t keep time very well.

Looks neat, though.

a photo of a pile of louisiana style hot sauce packets

The fried chicken places always gives us a lot of hot sauce.

a photo of a box of grace peanut punch

Peanut punch is basically just water and milk added to peanut butter. It’s probably not healthy to drink it very often.

a photo of an eyeshadow palette with forty different colours

These shadows can pretty much only be applied wet. It’s nice to have a lot of different colours, though.

a photo of a sheet of canadian hockey legends stamps

Yes, that’s right, I snail-mail things. I’m old-school!

a photo of the underside of a cookie which reads "butter keks"

“Kek” is how Koreans laugh and it’s also the name of an Egyptian god. You learn something new every day.

a photo of a 2018 planner that reads "still dicking bimbos" on the cover

I thought that having a planner with something rude written on it was funny at the beginning of the year. It was not funny at the end of the year.

a photo of a plastic package with a tombow brush pen inside

This Tombow brush pen is pretty neat. I need to start practicing my calligraphy again.

That’s all for now. There will be more later. There’s ALWAYS more later.

Instagram Dump #12


a photo of a bottle of dekuyper cactus juice

This “cactus juice” was made with agave. That’s a photo of a saguaro on the label. It tasted like a mixture of tequila and triple sec.

photo of an exploded burrito

I thought that this exploded burrito looked pretty grotesque. I like taking unappetizing photos of food.

photo of blue crystals from a crystal growing kit

Remember that crystal growing kit? Well, this is the amazing result. Yay.

I think that is didn’t work out so well because Tucson’s water is already half rocks, so the chemical reaction didn’t happen properly.


photo of the essential ernest dvd collection

I will always maintain that Jim Varney was a great actor who was never really given his chance to shine.

photo of a pair of glasses that has been broken in half

You have to be careful gluing glasses back together, because sometimes glue will react strangely to plastic frames. One of the glues I tried basically melted the acrylic in these.

photo of a jack o' lantern on a table

I burnt the pumpkin seeds this year and was very sad.


photo of a lit-up jack o' lantern in the dark

In some towns, they make you use a light bulb instead of a candle for your jack o’ lantern. Those are the worst towns.

photo of a jack o' lantern on a porch

Snow shovel prominently featured, because Canada.

an overexposed photo of four mints

My cellphone’s camera sucks sometimes. And it sucks the rest of the time, too.

a black and white photo of four mini-wheats

It’s a moody photo of some Mini-Wheats. Welcome to Hipstertown.

photo of a pink plastic wheel

This is the pink wheel from the spinning fidget thingy I keep on my desk.

photo of a logitech g600 mmo gaming mouse

I had a store credit for the Dell store and the only thing I even remotely wanted was this Logitech G600 MMO Gaming Mouse.

It’s way too big for my tiny girl hand.


macro photo of a tiny yellow screwdriver

This is a glasses screwdriver, because I am a nerd what wears glasses

macro photo of two blue earplugs

Always wear earplugs to rock concerts, kiddies. You can replace your teeth, but you can’t replace your ears.

a macro photo of a strand of red yarn on a black backgroun

I made a scarf with this yarn!

a blurry photo of a silver pen

This photo is terrible. It’s only here because I can’t throw anything away.

macro photo of five different screwdriver bits
It’s the bits!

I keep ordering drinks and I keep getting tools, instead.

macro photo of an orange paintbrush

Wow. You can’t see any of the detail in this macro photo!

a photo of a black usb-c to usb adapter and a white ac to usb adapter

I have so many USB adapters and they’re all terrible.

macro of a stella artois bottle cap

Stella Artois: the Pabst of imported beers.


Well, that was 20 photos and 20 is a number that I like, so, BYE!

Instagram Dump #11

I take terrible, terrible photos and post them to Instagram. Aren’t I inane?

a photo of a vinyl uppercase "L" sticker
“L” for LOSER

I got this cheap L sticker so I could make the limit to get free shipping from Amazon. I have no idea where it is now.

a photo of a cat toy made of fuzz and tinsel
Look what the cat dragged in.

This is one of my sister’s cat toys. Surprisingly, her cats actually prefer some colours of fuzzy tinsel balls over others.

a photo of a tub of market pantry peanut butter filled pretzels

Yes, I did eat all of those. When I have massive organ failure in the future, you’ll know exactly why.

a photo of some hormel sandwich meat packets hanging on a rack

These meats were hanging unrefrigerated in a Dollar General. Aren’t cold cuts supposed to be kept cold?

a photo of four brass keys lined up
The keys to my heart! …not really.

These keys were in my purse. I had no idea what they were for.

a photo of five white miniature canvasses

These are some teeny tiny canvasses. They are rectangular. I like rectangles.

a photo of a negativland content business card

My sister took my to a Negitivland concert. They handed out these cards. I think they were trying to make a point about consumerism and disposable media. You know, like the inane junk on this website.

a photo of some three sprinkles that are blue, red and white

I got these off of some America Day cupcakes.

a photo of a fast bites sausage and cheese biscuit, and a fast bites bbq rib sandwhich

The buns on these ended up rock-hard. Remind me to stop buying food from Dollar General.

a photo of a carton of trader joe's maple water

I told the Americans that Maple Water is a traditional Canadian drink. This is not a thing that is actually true.

a photo of a grow your own crystals kits for blue crystals

I got this crystal growing kit for a dollar from Target. You will see later how well the crystals grew.

a photo of a placemat with with two snowmen lying in the desert

This snowman placemat was hanging out all alone in the Tucson desert. I think when it actually snows in Tucson, that they call in the national guard.

a photo of a grilled cheese on plate with a pickle and some ketchup

You gotta dip your grilled cheese in some ketchup. It’s the law!

a photo of some foil crumpled up into three balls

I’m making some sort of an artistic statement here.

a photo of a bow of breakfast choice high fiber twigs cereal

This was such false advertising. This cereal didn’t contain any twigs at all.

a photo of a package of a package of krave black cherry jerky and can of redd's black cherry ale

One of my favourite flavours is black cherry. I’m so mad at President’s Choice for discontinuing their Black Cherry Soda.

a photo of a rainbow over a parking lot

It was monsoon season in Tucson. There were beautiful rainbows hanging over the vast, empty parking lots. Go urban sprawl!

a photo of a rainbow over a mountain range

I never actually visited the mountains, when I was in Tucson. For some reason, there isn’t a shuttle or public transit that travels to them.

a photo of either a hare or a rabbit

I wasn’t sure whether this was a hare or a rabbit. I ate it anyhow!

a photo of a glass of trader joe's maple water and the water carton

Trader Joe’s Maple Water tastes like maple syrup mixed with sweaty sock water.


Well, that’s all fro today. I hope you enjoyed this mystical photographic journey as much as I did!

Depressing Trudge Down the Rillito “River”

I’m in Tucson. And you know what the thing about Tucson is? It really must have been beautiful, before they turned it into a giant parking lot and all the rivers dried up.

Case in point: The Rillito River. Once it flowed it flowed year-round, now it’s mostly just a bone-dry trench filled with garbage, unless there’s really heavy rains, in which case all the garbage gets washed into inconvenient places.

I decided to take a walk alongside the Rillito “River”. It bummed me out. It’s weird squaring with all the destruction and mayhem my species causes.

There was a river here for thousands of years and it only took us about 100 to use it all up.

Yeah, so, all my pictures suck, because I was sad… and also I was testing out the camera on my new cellphone and I didn’t realize it was shooting in 16:9 mode, because the UI was covering part of the view up.

That’s my story and I’m sticking it.

dry riverbed of the rillito river
Rillito River Dried-Up

Really, this is a river.

Vandalism Warning Sign


This sign was next to some scary-looking bathrooms that had their sinks outside.

discarded shopping cart in the dry rillito river
Shopping Cart in the Rillito River

There a loads of discarded shopping carts all over Tucson. It’s weird how far away some of them end up from any store. Tuscon has the urban sprawl something awful. Definite food desert situations in many areas. I guess some people without cars just opt to take the cart with them, rather than try to carry their groceries for miles.

brush growing in the dry rillito river
Rillito River Overgrowth

Here, fishy fishy fishy…

makeshift transient house in the dry rillito river
Rillito River Hobo House

Hhhhmmm… That’s weird. It looks like someone has cobbled together a small structure from various refuse.

shanty in the middle of dry rillito river
Rillito River Hobo House Closeup

Yes, that’s right, the Rillito River has been dry so long, that a hobo has taken up residence right in the middle of it.

I sort of wanted to go down to the shanty and have myself a little look-see, but I couldn’t see if anybody was home and I didn’t want to get hobo-shanked.

I hope whoever lives there doesn’t drown during the next monsoon season.

dry concrete runoff trench
Rillito Concrete Runoff Trench

On the rare occasions when there is water in the river, it can end up way too high and overflow, because the ground is so dry and hard that the water doesn’t seep into it. They built these ugly concrete trenches to mitigate the overflow.

two saguaros alongside a path
Two Saguaros

I can never seem to find any nice cacti. They’re always misshapen and weird.

a saguaro full of holes made by birds
Saguaro with Bird Holes

Birds live in those holes. Also, gnomes.

spray-painted graffiti on a saguaro
Saguaro Graffiti

It’s actually a felony to vandalize a saguaro cactus. They take a really long time to grow. It can be a 100 years before they even get their first arm. So they get a mite bit miffed when you mess with one.

fishhook barrel cactus with yellow fruit
Fishhook Barrel Cactus

The fruit of a barrel cactus are edible. You need tongs and oven mitts to harvest them, though.

palo verde tree in bloom
Palo Verde Tree

This a palo verde tree. The little yellow flowers get collect in little piles on the ground and it is very cute.

yellow palo verde flowers
Palo Verde Blooms

This is all blurry because it was very windy. I wonder if my cellphone camera has a burst function?

desert mistletoe growing on a velvet mesquite tree
Desert Mistletoe

This one is a little bit hard to see, but what looks like a clump of twigs on this tree is actually desert mistletoe. It wasn’t very Christmasy, though, because there wasn’t any little poisonous berries on it.

a tree in circular concrete landscaping
Tree Circle

This sure is a boring photo.

ocotillo in bloom

Ocotillos look like they belong on an alien planet. A lot of people have them it their gardens. I could never do that, because I would inevitably stumbled into it and grievously harm myself on the spinedies.

orange ocotillo flowers
Ocotillo Flowers

Cute little orange flowers. Apparently, hummingbirds like them.

ocotillo plant without flowers
Flowerless Ocotillo

Here’s one without flowers, just evil spinedies waiting to murder unsuspecting Laurels.

yellow brittlebush flowers
Brittlebush Flowers

I like taking photos of flowers. Someone buy me a $4000 macro lense, so I can do it more betterer.

yellow brittlebush flowers
Brittlebush Bunch

I need to learn how to stop bright yellow from blowing everything out.

purple aster flowers
Purple Aster

We have asters in Ontario, but they tend to bloom in the Fall there, instead of the Spring like here.

agave plant

This should stop being an agave and start being a tequila.

caution signs that read "watch for ice on bridge" and "change in surface"
Ice Warning Signs

Ice? Ha! You don’t know from ice, you crazy southerners.

rusted bridge with a yellow dividing line
Rusty Bridge

If this bridge wasn’t here, I might have drowned trying to cross the river.

tile art of hands and corn
Corn Hands Tiles

Some of the bridges are decorated with painted tiles.

Are those hands gigantic or is that corn really small?

broken tile art of boars
Broken Boar Tiles

Someone vandalized the pork.

tile art of some boars
Boar Tiles

Intact pork.

If you see a wild pig in Tucson, run. They’re very dangerous… and delicious.

rusted bridge with the santa catalina mountains in the backrgound
Bridge and Santa Catalina Mountains

Look it’s the mountains! Clouds look weird when you’re at a high elevation.

strange metal bench structure
Unidentified Metal Bench Thing

Alright, what the Hell is this thing? It looks like a bus stop, but it’s not anywhere near a road. It’s also the only one along the path to my knowledge.

strange hinged metal cylinder
Unidentified Metal Cylinder

And then there’s this weird cylinder in front of it. The purpose of which was the cause of much perplexitude.

strange hinged metal object in the open position
Unidentified Metal Cylinder Opened

It opens, but why?

concrete snake sculpture
Snake Sculpture

Pretty much all the art along the path has been vandalized.

tucson sun circle on a cloudy day
Sun Circle

Hey, it’s the Tucson Sun Circle, which is completely useless on an overcast day, as you can plainly see here.

instructional plaque for the tucson sun circle
Sun Circle Instructions Plaque

Here are the instructions for the Sun Circle. Apparently, it does something interesting on the Equinox, BUT I COULDN’T SIT AROUND AND WAIT THAT LONG.

bronze memorial monument in the tucson children's memorial park
Memorial Monument

I stopped at the Children’s Memorial Park. That wall back there is filled with the names of dead children. There are too many names.

bronze statue of a little girl praying
Praying Girl Statue

I’m not sure whether those flowers blew there or someone placed them on the girl.

bronze statue of a little boy on a magic carpet
Magic Carpet Statue

Not sure whether I like the idea of dead children flying around on magic carpets. Ghosts are scary enough without whimsical woven goods.

blue trash can alongside a path
Blue Trash Can

Why do they bother with trash cans? Everyone just throws their junk onto the riverbed.

ants crawling out of a hole in the sand
Sand Ants

I always wanted an ant farm as a kid.

dead dove on gravel
Dead Dove

It is a dead dove. It’s a metaphor for my life.

Google Photos created this stupid hipster video of my trip.


If I misidentified anything in these photos, feel free to drop me a line.

And, yes, I realize that it’s still technically a river because there is water flowing underground. (Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was…)

Instagram Dump #10

My Instagram is overflowing with photos again, so I’m going to make you look at them.

a photo of some chipped white paint
Chip Chip Chippy

It’s some chipped paint. This is interesting.

a photo of two pairs of lady's boxer shorts
Not Your Granny’s Panties

I got tired of my underpants riding up my ass, so I bought some boxer shorts.

a photo of some frozen banana and blueberry cream

I made this frozen banana and blueberry goop with my Yonanas. It was very tasty.

two windmill patterns made from rib bones
Spooky! Spooky!

I made some spicy ribs and then played with the bare bones afterwards.

a windmill pattern made from rib bones

There’s something wrong with me.

a bunch of rowan tree berries
Very Berry

I just looked in up and these are the berries of the rowan tree. I didn’t taste them because I thought they were poisonous, but they’re edible. My policy is to leave wild berries for the birds, instead of eating them myself, though.

a closeup photo of some rowan berries
Blurry Berry

This phone was really bad with blurry things constantly.

rowan berries lined up in a square pattern

Hey look! It’s my autism!

a photo of a rowan twig and berry

This is supposed to represent the circle of life… or something.

photo of president's choice pulled pork poutine kit box
Ow my heart!

This poutine was pretty tasty, but you can get fresh poutine from a restaurant for the same price.

a photo of six plastic bottle caps

I drink too much diet pop.

a photo of a pyramid made from plastic bottle caps

Arranging this and taking this photo was a really good use of my time.

a photo of a president's choice speculoos cookie butter jar

It’s speculoos cookies ground up and made spreadable. I ate the whole jar with a spoon.

a photo of president's choice world of flavours butter chicken pizza box

I can never find a good Indian restaurant near where I live.

a photo of president's choice world of flavours cheeseburger spring rolls  box

These cheeseburger spring rolls were really bizarre and greasy. They also had pickles and mustard inside.

a photo of hutchison's ginger wine and diet dr pepper

I mixed Hutchison’s Ginger Wine and Diet Dr. Pepper together. I saw through time.

a photo of gingerbread men peeps

Yep. Gingerbread-flavoured PeepsPeeps always make me feel sick to my stomach. These were no exception.

a photo of a resealable caramilk bar wrapper
But why?

Does anybody ever save part of a chocolate bar for later? Why in the world would a chocolate bar wrapper have to be resealable ever?

a photo of jimmy dean blueberry pancakes & sausage on a stick box

Jimmy Dean Blueberry Pancakes & Sausage On A Stick doesn’t actually have any blueberries in it. It’s just corn syrup dyed purple. They’re pretty damn gross. Americans are weird.

photo of larry the cable guy beer batter and buttermilk biscuits boxes
Ew. Ew. Ew.

Larry the Cable Guy branded food, eh? Are the biscuits 75% forearm hair, then?


That is all for today! Go eat something gross! That’s what I’m going to do!