Instagram Dump #12


a photo of a bottle of dekuyper cactus juice

This “cactus juice” was made with agave. That’s a photo of a saguaro on the label. It tasted like a mixture of tequila and triple sec.

photo of an exploded burrito

I thought that this exploded burrito looked pretty grotesque. I like taking unappetizing photos of food.

photo of blue crystals from a crystal growing kit

Remember that crystal growing kit? Well, this is the amazing result. Yay.

I think that is didn’t work out so well because Tucson’s water is already half rocks, so the chemical reaction didn’t happen properly.


photo of the essential ernest dvd collection

I will always maintain that Jim Varney was a great actor who was never really given his chance to shine.

photo of a pair of glasses that has been broken in half

You have to be careful gluing glasses back together, because sometimes glue will react strangely to plastic frames. One of the glues I tried basically melted the acrylic in these.

photo of a jack o' lantern on a table

I burnt the pumpkin seeds this year and was very sad.


photo of a lit-up jack o' lantern in the dark

In some towns, they make you use a light bulb instead of a candle for your jack o’ lantern. Those are the worst towns.

photo of a jack o' lantern on a porch

Snow shovel prominently featured, because Canada.

an overexposed photo of four mints

My cellphone’s camera sucks sometimes. And it sucks the rest of the time, too.

a black and white photo of four mini-wheats

It’s a moody photo of some Mini-Wheats. Welcome to Hipstertown.

photo of a pink plastic wheel

This is the pink wheel from the spinning fidget thingy I keep on my desk.

photo of a logitech g600 mmo gaming mouse

I had a store credit for the Dell store and the only thing I even remotely wanted was this Logitech G600 MMO Gaming Mouse.

It’s way too big for my tiny girl hand.


macro photo of a tiny yellow screwdriver

This is a glasses screwdriver, because I am a nerd what wears glasses

macro photo of two blue earplugs

Always wear earplugs to rock concerts, kiddies. You can replace your teeth, but you can’t replace your ears.

a macro photo of a strand of red yarn on a black backgroun

I made a scarf with this yarn!

a blurry photo of a silver pen

This photo is terrible. It’s only here because I can’t throw anything away.

macro photo of five different screwdriver bits
It’s the bits!

I keep ordering drinks and I keep getting tools, instead.

macro photo of an orange paintbrush

Wow. You can’t see any of the detail in this macro photo!

a photo of a black usb-c to usb adapter and a white ac to usb adapter

I have so many USB adapters and they’re all terrible.

macro of a stella artois bottle cap

Stella Artois: the Pabst of imported beers.


Well, that was 20 photos and 20 is a number that I like, so, BYE!

Instagram Dump #11

I take terrible, terrible photos and post them to Instagram. Aren’t I inane?

a photo of a vinyl uppercase "L" sticker
“L” for LOSER

I got this cheap L sticker so I could make the limit to get free shipping from Amazon. I have no idea where it is now.

a photo of a cat toy made of fuzz and tinsel
Look what the cat dragged in.

This is one of my sister’s cat toys. Surprisingly, her cats actually prefer some colours of fuzzy tinsel balls over others.

a photo of a tub of market pantry peanut butter filled pretzels

Yes, I did eat all of those. When I have massive organ failure in the future, you’ll know exactly why.

a photo of some hormel sandwich meat packets hanging on a rack

These meats were hanging unrefrigerated in a Dollar General. Aren’t cold cuts supposed to be kept cold?

a photo of four brass keys lined up
The keys to my heart! …not really.

These keys were in my purse. I had no idea what they were for.

a photo of five white miniature canvasses

These are some teeny tiny canvasses. They are rectangular. I like rectangles.

a photo of a negativland content business card

My sister took my to a Negitivland concert. They handed out these cards. I think they were trying to make a point about consumerism and disposable media. You know, like the inane junk on this website.

a photo of some three sprinkles that are blue, red and white

I got these off of some America Day cupcakes.

a photo of a fast bites sausage and cheese biscuit, and a fast bites bbq rib sandwhich

The buns on these ended up rock-hard. Remind me to stop buying food from Dollar General.

a photo of a carton of trader joe's maple water

I told the Americans that Maple Water is a traditional Canadian drink. This is not a thing that is actually true.

a photo of a grow your own crystals kits for blue crystals

I got this crystal growing kit for a dollar from Target. You will see later how well the crystals grew.

a photo of a placemat with with two snowmen lying in the desert

This snowman placemat was hanging out all alone in the Tucson desert. I think when it actually snows in Tucson, that they call in the national guard.

a photo of a grilled cheese on plate with a pickle and some ketchup

You gotta dip your grilled cheese in some ketchup. It’s the law!

a photo of some foil crumpled up into three balls

I’m making some sort of an artistic statement here.

a photo of a bow of breakfast choice high fiber twigs cereal

This was such false advertising. This cereal didn’t contain any twigs at all.

a photo of a package of a package of krave black cherry jerky and can of redd's black cherry ale

One of my favourite flavours is black cherry. I’m so mad at President’s Choice for discontinuing their Black Cherry Soda.

a photo of a rainbow over a parking lot

It was monsoon season in Tucson. There were beautiful rainbows hanging over the vast, empty parking lots. Go urban sprawl!

a photo of a rainbow over a mountain range

I never actually visited the mountains, when I was in Tucson. For some reason, there isn’t a shuttle or public transit that travels to them.

a photo of either a hare or a rabbit

I wasn’t sure whether this was a hare or a rabbit. I ate it anyhow!

a photo of a glass of trader joe's maple water and the water carton

Trader Joe’s Maple Water tastes like maple syrup mixed with sweaty sock water.


Well, that’s all fro today. I hope you enjoyed this mystical photographic journey as much as I did!

Instagram Dump #9

a closeup photo of a blush makeup brush

I wonder what kind of animal had to die to make this brush?

a photo of a knitting needle gauge packaged in a large box

I was flabbergasted by the amount of waste here. They should have packaged this in an envelope.

a closeup photo of a flat, silver chain

I need to stop overusing the Instagram filters.

a blurry photo of some rusty old keys
On of these is the key to my heart.

This is my damn cellphone working against me, again. This would have been a very nice photo, but, for the life of me, I just couldn’t get my cellphone to focus. I really shouldn’t have dropped it so many times.

a photo of a small wrench closeup

Bleh. Blurry cellphone, again.

I got this teeny tiny wrench in a set of tiny multitools. I have no idea what the Hell you would even do with a wrench this tiny. You can’t achieve any torque at all.

a photo of a nongshim shrimp cracker closeup

This looks like a cheese puff, but it’s actually a shrimp cracker. It’s made with real shrimp. It tastes like the sea.

a photo of some cooked pork riblets on a metal tray

I like to make ribs in my slow cooker. Afterwards, I put them under the broiler for a few minutes to caramelize the sauce.

a photo of some chunked-up butter

I use a bunch of butter in everything. I’m going to have a heart attack.

a photo of an egg with a face drawn on it in marker

I drew a creepy face on an egg. Dunno why.

a photo of a potato closeup on a plate

I really like potatoes. Carbs are good.

a macro photo of a metal spring

Damn, that is a lot of noise. I really, really need to get a cellphone with a better camera.

a closeup photo of some rusty old keys
These guys again?

I tried getting another photo of those keys. They’re still too blurry.

a dark photo of a glass fill with rose wine
Demonic Drink

This was some rosé, if I recall correctly. I don’t know why I wanted it to look so creepy.

a marco photo of a fudgee-o

Fudgee-Os taste nothing like fudge.

a photo of five bananas lined up
Banana Line Dance

I got this Yonanas dealie that makes frozen banana treats, so I need a lot of bananas.

a photo of bananas arranged in a pinwheel shape
So Many Bananas!

This is pretty, but it attracted so many fruit flies.

a photo of five tomatoes on the vine

I always figured that these tomatoes on the vine were some sort of scam. They leave the vine on so that they can say that they’re “vine-ripened”, even though they ripened while being shipped.

a photo of a necklace with two crocodiles covered in rhinestones

I got this necklace for my birthday. It’s a real sparkly statement piece. It’s hella heavy, though.

a photo of a very rusty old cookie pan

This cookie sheet has seen better days. I’m going to keep using it, though.

a black and white photo of a closet doors and one is missing its handle
Who needs two?

One of the closet’s doors is missing its handle. Someone should fix that.

Well, that’s all for today’s dump. I’m going to try to take more photos, so you should be seeing these dumps more often.


Instagram Dump #8

D-d-d-dump! Instagram dump!

a photo of a path dug through a snowbank
The Way Through

There were a lot of large, solid chunks of ice in this snowbank. This was really annoying to dig through.

a photo of a box of very old unsweetened baker's chocolate

I found this ancient box of Baker’s Chocolate in my dead grandmother’s cupboard. It must be forty-years-old, or more!

a photo of a red faceted crystal pandora-type bead

This is a knockoff Pandora bracelet bead. It cost me about $0.07 from an online craft store. A real Pandora bead will cost you about $100 and be the exact same thing.

a photo of two yellow gel capsule pills, on is bigger than the other

I believe one of these pills was ibuprofen and the other was vitamin d.

a photo of four double pointed bamboo knitting needles

These are knitting needles. I’m into old lady crafts.

a photo four rings of different colours and textures closeup

Rings are my favourite kind of jewellery. They’re hard to find for me, though, because my hands are really tiny.

a photo of a sim card ejection tool closeup

It’s my sim card ejection tool, that I have somehow magically not managed to lose yet.

a photo of a turquoise rubber band closeup

It’s a rubber band. Yup.

a photo of a broken shirt zipper closeup

They need to invent some sort of device for protecting zippers in the wash, because mine are always breaking long before my clothes wear out.

a photo of five silver paper clips close up

I never use paper clips. I just put all my papers in a giant pile on my desk.

a photo of a thin metal tool
What is this?

I have no idea what this tool is for. It came in a manicure set, so I guess it’s for scraping gunk out from under your nails?

a photo of a blister pack full of small white pills

This is loratadine. I need loratadine to survive April through October. I am allergic to grass. Seriously.

a photo of three different types of glasses filled with water

I have a bunch of different styles of glasses. I have no idea what are the proper drinks to pour into them.

a photo of some chicken thighs cooked with onions

This is chickened thighs cooked with onions. It tasted good.

a macro photo of a sewing needle

This is a darning needle. I’ve never darned anything.

a photo of twelve different earbud tips

These are a bunch of different earbud tips. They always give you a bunch of different sizes when you buy earbuds and I can never throw them out.

a photo of a giant snowbank next to a sidewalk at night

In some places, the snowbank was taller than me this winter. It was really depressing.

a photo of a sunbeam mightycell 9-volt battery

You can see the reflection of my cellphone and hands in the battery.

a photo of  a large pile of carrots sticks on a plate

I eat a lot of carrots, but I’m not orange, yet.

a photo of two upside down bottle caps

I had two beers.

This is the end. Go away.

Instagram Dump #7

This is going to be my last Instagram Dump for a while, thank Satan. I hope you relish as much as I.

a photo of a red cellphone stylus

This is the stylus I use when I make stupid doodles on my cellphone.

a photo of a blue and white knitting project in progress

This is from a sweater I was knitting in syncopated brioche stitch. It still isn’t done.

a photo of a pumpkin surrounded by bottles of apple juice next to some christmas wrapping paper in a grocery store

I thought this was a weird juxtaposition: Halloween stuff next to Christmas stuff.

a photo of a green mug full of tea

I always drink tea out of a mug, instead of a cup. It makes British people angry.

a photo of a reese big cup wrapper

I was proud of myself for getting this wrapper open all in one piece. Note: Reese Big Cups aren’t actually that big. They’re just the size that the cups used to be when I was a kid.

a photo of four twisted metal rings in four different colours

I photographed these rings at kind of a weird angle. They look all Dutch and stuff.

a photo of six halloween smarties scaries boxes

I ordered these Smarties Scaries to give out on Halloween, but they arrived well after, so I was forced to eat them all myself. It was awful.

a photo of a plubob usb drive from the sims 3 collector's edition

This plubob USB drive/keychain came with The Sims 3 Collector’s Edition. It only holds 2gb, so it’s next to useless, but it sure is pretty.

a photo of a dutch baby pancake

I went through this phase where I kept having Dutch babies for breakfast. I really need to get a cast iron skillet to do them properly, though.

a photo of the inside of a kaleidoscope, it features blue, pink, red and yellow crystals

I really like taking kaleidoscope photos.

a photo of the inside of a kaleidoscope it is full of blue, yellow, red, purple and orange crystals

I really, really like taking kaleidoscope photos.

a photo of a wall with a large piece of plaster missing

A large chunk was taken out of this wall when my mother dropped a piece of furniture out of the attic.

a photo of a dead leaf sitting on a brick floor

This lead represents Autumn.

a photo of an assortment of rings arranged in a geometric pattern
To many rings!

This would have looked way better, if only my stupid phone could focus.

a photo of a aloha hawaii strawberry kiwi eos lip balm, a passion fruit eos lip balm, a st. barth's sunrise pink grapefruit eos lip balm and an indian summer orange blossom eos lip balm

I own way too many EOS lip balms.

a photo of assorted sleeman beer bottle caps arranged in a triangular patter

Getting artsy-fartsy with beer.


a photo of a chicken cooking in a slow cooker

I love cooking chickens in my slow cooker. They come out very tender.

a photo of a roasted chicken and vegetables in a pan

I usually put the chicken and the vegetable under the broiler, after slow cooking them, to crisp up the outsides a little.

a photo of a path dug through a snowbank

This is a path that I dug through a snowbank. It was hard, because the only shovel I had at my disposal was a flimsy plastic one.

a photo of a snowdrift reaching almost up to the windows of a house

It snowed way, way too much. I don’t think it’s all going to melt until June.

That’s all for now. See you later. Or not.

Instagram Dump #6

More Instagram photos? When will this end? Haven’t we all suffered enough?

a photo of a whole tonne of cookies on a plate

I really, really like cookies.

a photo of some old potatoes that have sprung roots

Is it a good idea to eat potatoes when they have grown roots this long?

a photo of cookies on a tray that have spread out too much

These cookies spread out too much. Sometimes you have to chill your dough before you bake it.

a photo of some letters that spell out "TOMER KING"
Hail to the king!

Who is the Tomer King?

a photo of a metal and rubber bottle stopper

This is a bottle stopper. Why would anyone want to stop wine?

a photo of a gummy cherry, gummy strawberry, gummy rootbeer, gummy shark and gummy worm on a plate

I really need to be kinder to my teeth…

a photo of a bowl of chili

I used a yellow filter to make this chili look extra gross.

a photo of a giant pile of packaging air bags
So, so wasteful.

If I recalled correctly, all of these air bags were needed to protect a lip balm.

a photo of two topslice hotdog buns on a plate

They were all out of normal hotdog buns at the grocery store, so I had to get these rectangular monstrosities.

a photo of a pair of pineapple shaped earrings

These are my pineapple earrings. I don’t even like pineapple.

a photo of a sleeman honey brown lager label

Sometimes, Americans ask me if my favourite beer is Molson or LaBatt’s and I just laugh ruefully. Ah, Sleeman, a beer so good, we won’t let them sell it in the United States.

a photo of a large fallen branch

This large branch was downed during Hurricane Arthur.

a photo of some strange yellow sprouts

I don’t know what these yellow things are. Wild alfalfa sprouts? If you know what these are, tell me in the comments.

a photo of a rubik's cube with pictures of clown on all the squares

This is like the puzzle box from Hellraiser. What do you call a Rubik’s Cube that isn’t actually Rubik’s brand?

a photo of a yonanas machine squirting out banana goo

I got myself a Yonanas machine so that I could have delicious frozen banana goop desserts.

a photo of a hungry man mexican fiesta box

I ate the Hungry-Man Mexican Fiesta and then I died of some sort of poisoning.

a photo of two smores pop-tarts on a plate

I ate the Smores Pop-Tarts and then I died of some sort of poisoning.

a photo of a yellow green crayon and a green yellow crayon
Someone divided by zero!

Shouldn’t these be the same colour?

a photo of eleven different coloured nail polishes

Eleven nail polishes? Why, that’s a different colour for every one of my fingers!

a photo of a bottle of blue cuticle oil

This is some cuticle oil and it’s not nearly as good as the cuticle oil that I had bought previously from The Body Shop.

That’s all for now. I’m going back to bed.