2015

I wonder what kind of animal had to die to make this brush?

I was flabbergasted by the amount of waste here. They should have packaged this in an envelope.

I need to stop overusing the Instagram filters.

This is my damn cellphone working against me, again. This would have been a very nice photo, but, for the life of me, I just couldn’t get my cellphone to focus. I really shouldn’t have dropped it so many times.

Bleh. Blurry cellphone, again.

I got this teeny tiny wrench in a set of tiny multitools. I have no idea what the Hell you would even do with a wrench this tiny. You can’t achieve any torque at all.

This looks like a cheese puff, but it’s actually a shrimp cracker. It’s made with real shrimp. It tastes like the sea.

I like to make ribs in my slow cooker. Afterwards, I put them under the broiler for a few minutes to caramelize the sauce.

I use a bunch of butter in everything. I’m going to have a heart attack.

I drew a creepy face on an egg. Dunno why.

I really like potatoes. Carbs are good.

Damn, that is a lot of noise. I really, really need to get a cellphone with a better camera.

I tried getting another photo of those keys. They’re still too blurry.

This was some rosé, if I recall correctly. I don’t know why I wanted it to look so creepy.

Fudgee-Os taste nothing like fudge.

I got this Yonanas dealie that makes frozen banana treats, so I need a lot of bananas.

This is pretty, but it attracted so many fruit flies.

I always figured that these tomatoes on the vine were some sort of scam. They leave the vine on so that they can say that they’re “vine-ripened”, even though they ripened while being shipped.

I got this necklace for my birthday. It’s a real sparkly statement piece. It’s hella heavy, though.

This cookie sheet has seen better days. I’m going to keep using it, though.

One of the closet’s doors is missing its handle. Someone should fix that.

Well, that’s all for today’s dump. I’m going to try to take more photos, so you should be seeing these dumps more often.

Dumps.

D-d-d-dump! Instagram dump!

There were a lot of large, solid chunks of ice in this snowbank. This was really annoying to dig through.

I found this ancient box of Baker’s Chocolate in my dead grandmother’s cupboard. It must be forty-years-old, or more!

This is a knockoff Pandora bracelet bead. It cost me about $0.07 from an online craft store. A real Pandora bead will cost you about $100 and be the exact same thing.

I believe one of these pills was ibuprofen and the other was vitamin d.

These are knitting needles. I’m into old lady crafts.

Rings are my favourite kind of jewellery. They’re hard to find for me, though, because my hands are really tiny.

It’s my sim card ejection tool, that I have somehow magically not managed to lose yet.

It’s a rubber band. Yup.

They need to invent some sort of device for protecting zippers in the wash, because mine are always breaking long before my clothes wear out.

I never use paper clips. I just put all my papers in a giant pile on my desk.

I have no idea what this tool is for. It came in a manicure set, so I guess it’s for scraping gunk out from under your nails?

This is loratadine. I need loratadine to survive April through October. I am allergic to grass. Seriously.

I have a bunch of different styles of glasses. I have no idea what are the proper drinks to pour into them.

This is chickened thighs cooked with onions. It tasted good.

This is a darning needle. I’ve never darned anything.

These are a bunch of different earbud tips. They always give you a bunch of different sizes when you buy earbuds and I can never throw them out.

In some places, the snowbank was taller than me this winter. It was really depressing.

You can see the reflection of my cellphone and hands in the battery.

I eat a lot of carrots, but I’m not orange, yet.

I had two beers.

This is the end. Go away.

This is going to be my last Instagram Dump for a while, thank Satan. I hope you relish as much as I.

This is the stylus I use when I make stupid doodles on my cellphone.

This is from a sweater I was knitting in syncopated brioche stitch. It still isn’t done.

I thought this was a weird juxtaposition: Halloween stuff next to Christmas stuff.

I always drink tea out of a mug, instead of a cup. It makes British people angry.

I was proud of myself for getting this wrapper open all in one piece. Note: Reese Big Cups aren’t actually that big. They’re just the size that the cups used to be when I was a kid.

I photographed these rings at kind of a weird angle. They look all Dutch and stuff.

I ordered these Smarties Scaries to give out on Halloween, but they arrived well after, so I was forced to eat them all myself. It was awful.

This plubob USB drive/keychain came with The Sims 3 Collector’s Edition. It only holds 2gb, so it’s next to useless, but it sure is pretty.

I went through this phase where I kept having Dutch babies for breakfast. I really need to get a cast iron skillet to do them properly, though.

I really like taking kaleidoscope photos.

I really, really like taking kaleidoscope photos.

A large chunk was taken out of this wall when my mother dropped a piece of furniture out of the attic.

This lead represents Autumn.

This would have looked way better, if only my stupid phone could focus.

I own way too many EOS lip balms.

Getting artsy-fartsy with beer.

I love cooking chickens in my slow cooker. They come out very tender.

I usually put the chicken and the vegetable under the broiler, after slow cooking them, to crisp up the outsides a little.

This is a path that I dug through a snowbank. It was hard, because the only shovel I had at my disposal was a flimsy plastic one.

It snowed way, way too much. I don’t think it’s all going to melt until June.

That’s all for now. See you later. Or not.

More Instagram photos? When will this end? Haven’t we all suffered enough?

I really, really like cookies.

Is it a good idea to eat potatoes when they have grown roots this long?

These cookies spread out too much. Sometimes you have to chill your dough before you bake it.

Who is the Tomer King?

This is a bottle stopper. Why would anyone want to stop wine?

I really need to be kinder to my teeth…

I used a yellow filter to make this chili look extra gross.

If I recalled correctly, all of these air bags were needed to protect a lip balm.

They were all out of normal hotdog buns at the grocery store, so I had to get these rectangular monstrosities.

These are my pineapple earrings. I don’t even like pineapple.

Sometimes, Americans ask me if my favourite beer is Molson or LaBatt’s and I just laugh ruefully. Ah, Sleeman, a beer so good, we won’t let them sell it in the United States.

This large branch was downed during Hurricane Arthur.

I don’t know what these yellow things are. Wild alfalfa sprouts? If you know what these are, tell me in the comments.

This is like the puzzle box from Hellraiser. What do you call a Rubik’s Cube that isn’t actually Rubik’s brand?

I got myself a Yonanas machine so that I could have delicious frozen banana goop desserts.

I ate the Hungry-Man Mexican Fiesta and then I died of some sort of poisoning.

I ate the Smores Pop-Tarts and then I died of some sort of poisoning.

Shouldn’t these be the same colour?

Eleven nail polishes? Why, that’s a different colour for every one of my fingers!

This is some cuticle oil and it’s not nearly as good as the cuticle oil that I had bought previously from The Body Shop.

That’s all for now. I’m going back to bed.

BLAH. BLAH. BLAH. Instagram. BLAH. BLAH. BLAH.

This was the Cornish hen that I cooked for Christmas. It just tasted like a regular chicken. I was very disappointed.

This Slinky sits on my desk to this day.

This is a hair clip that I’d wear, only it doesn’t seem to want to hold all my hair.

Holding a kaleidoscope in one hand and taking a picture of the inside with the other, is really hard.

These wire with beads on the ends were attached to my Christmas crackers.

I was trying to make this butterfly hair clip look creepy.

I got some smelly junk from The Body Shop in this box.

This is a Swiss Tech Utili-Key. It’s supposed to have, like, thirty uses, but it’s mostly just good for accidentally cutting yourself with.

Those tiny marshmallows instantly dissolved when the water hit them.

The mint and marshmallow mix of these candy cane Viva Puffs was pretty tasty, but the green dye they used was pretty off-putting.

This can is dented and labelless. It is a scary mystery.

Is there anything more depressing than a cruddy frozen pizza with all the toppings jumbled around?

My grandmother saved every stamp she got in the mail.

Apparently, Pirate cookies are only available in Canada.

I don’t actually love you, internet. I lied.

The chicken may contain kidneys? What if kidneys are my favourite part of the chicken? MUST CONTAIN KIDNEYS!

Great White White Wine is a fortified wine and it’s the worst thing ever. Colloquially it’s know as “Shark Piss”. It’s only sold in the Maritimes. I think that it’s illegal in the rest of the country.

I think all these air bags were used to protect a package of gum.

This graveyard photo was way spookier before Instagram processed it.

Yes, public telephones still exist. Although, I’m not sure if this one is still in service. I should have picked the receiver up and listened for a dial tone.

BLAH. BLAH. BLAH. UNTIL NEXT TIME. BLAH. BLAH. BLAH.

I know you’re dying for more photos from my craptastical Instagram account, and I shall not disappoint you, my lovelies!

I love sneakers. They’re practically the only things I ever wear on my feet.

This daddy long legs was on my bedroom wall. Spying on me, it was.

I like spiders, actually because they eat critters that I don’t like.

This chai tea didn’t really taste like pumpkins at all.

This is my dead grandparent’s attic. The ladder leading to it is right next to the stairs, so your likelihood of killing yourself entering or exiting the attic is high.

This is the weird closet in my dead grandparent’s basement. It had some sort of weird nest in the corner.

These are the stairs in my dead grandparent’s house. The handrail looks like some sort of animals clawed it up.

This is my dead grandfather’s worktable. He used to do framing for art.

This looks like a Pandora charm bracelet… But it’s not.

Why, yes, I did need two brownies.

I need to stop buying garbage cuts of meat.

Yum! Nothing like the Sobey’s store brand sweets.

Day one of eating chocolate…

Day two of eating chocolate…

Day three of eating chocolate…

Day four of eating chocolate…

Day five of eating chocolates and then there were no more chocolates to be had, but, like, they were only little chocolates, so I’m not a pig or nothing. *shifty eyes*

I got a letter in the mail soliciting donation for The Nova Scotia How For Colored Children. Who uses the term “colored” anymore? Why the Hell would they I’d give money to them? Apparently, a bunch of children were abused there, so, really, the balls on these people daring to ask for money.

All these vegetables were for a slow cooker recipe. I forget what meat they were cooked with.

Two of those things are Christmas crackers. I hear that they don’t have crackers in the United States for their holidays? That seems sad.

Done with this post, but there’s still so much more. SO MUCH MORE!