Instagram Dump #5

BLAH. BLAH. BLAH. Instagram. BLAH. BLAH. BLAH.

a photo of a raw cornish hen on a plate
YUMMY!

This was the Cornish hen that I cooked for Christmas. It just tasted like a regular chicken. I was very disappointed.

a photo of a slinky in an arch
Everybody loves this guy!

This Slinky sits on my desk to this day.

a photo of a blue bow with a heart in the middle
PRETTY!

This is a hair clip that I’d wear, only it doesn’t seem to want to hold all my hair.

a photo of the inside of a kaleidoscope, includes green red and purple crystals
Rotational Symmetry!

Holding a kaleidoscope in one hand and taking a picture of the inside with the other, is really hard.

a photo of a three wires with beads on both ends, they are in a star-shaped configuration
Huh?

These wire with beads on the ends were attached to my Christmas crackers.

a black&white photo of a hair clip shaped like a butterfly
…Pretty?

I was trying to make this butterfly hair clip look creepy.

a photo of some shredded paper in a cardboard box
SHREDDY!

I got some smelly junk from The Body Shop in this box.

a photo of a utili-kep
SHARP!

This is a Swiss Tech Utili-Key. It’s supposed to have, like, thirty uses, but it’s mostly just good for accidentally cutting yourself with.

a photo of some instant hot chocolate mix with marshmallows
CHOCOLATEY!

Those tiny marshmallows instantly dissolved when the water hit them.

a photo of a box of holiday edition candy cane viva puffs
MINTY!

The mint and marshmallow mix of these candy cane Viva Puffs was pretty tasty, but the green dye they used was pretty off-putting.

a photo of a dented can with no label
DENTY!

This can is dented and labelless. It is a scary mystery.

a photo of a frozen pizza with all the pepperoni shifted to one side
Great job at being a pizza, asshole.

Is there anything more depressing than a cruddy frozen pizza with all the toppings jumbled around?

a photo of a box of used stamps
STAMPY!

My grandmother saved every stamp she got in the mail.

a photo of a box of pirate peanut butter cookies
PEANUTTY!

Apparently, Pirate cookies are only available in Canada.

a photo of a valentine for the internet, it says "i wuv you internet"
LOVEY DOVEY!

I don’t actually love you, internet. I lied.

a photo of a bag of whole chicken with a warning that reads "may contain kidneys"
YUMMY!

The chicken may contain kidneys? What if kidneys are my favourite part of the chicken? MUST CONTAIN KIDNEYS!

a photo of a bottle of great white white wine
Ew.

Great White White Wine is a fortified wine and it’s the worst thing ever. Colloquially it’s know as “Shark Piss”. It’s only sold in the Maritimes. I think that it’s illegal in the rest of the country.

a photo of a bunch of packing air bags
WASTEFUL!

I think all these air bags were used to protect a package of gum.

a photo of a graveyard
SPOOKY!

This graveyard photo was way spookier before Instagram processed it.

a photo of a public telephone outdoors
PHONEY!

Yes, public telephones still exist. Although, I’m not sure if this one is still in service. I should have picked the receiver up and listened for a dial tone.

BLAH. BLAH. BLAH. UNTIL NEXT TIME. BLAH. BLAH. BLAH.