Random

BLAH. BLAH. BLAH. Instagram. BLAH. BLAH. BLAH.

This was the Cornish hen that I cooked for Christmas. It just tasted like a regular chicken. I was very disappointed.

This Slinky sits on my desk to this day.

This is a hair clip that I’d wear, only it doesn’t seem to want to hold all my hair.

Holding a kaleidoscope in one hand and taking a picture of the inside with the other, is really hard.

These wire with beads on the ends were attached to my Christmas crackers.

I was trying to make this butterfly hair clip look creepy.

I got some smelly junk from The Body Shop in this box.

This is a Swiss Tech Utili-Key. It’s supposed to have, like, thirty uses, but it’s mostly just good for accidentally cutting yourself with.

Those tiny marshmallows instantly dissolved when the water hit them.

The mint and marshmallow mix of these candy cane Viva Puffs was pretty tasty, but the green dye they used was pretty off-putting.

This can is dented and labelless. It is a scary mystery.

Is there anything more depressing than a cruddy frozen pizza with all the toppings jumbled around?

My grandmother saved every stamp she got in the mail.

Apparently, Pirate cookies are only available in Canada.

I don’t actually love you, internet. I lied.

The chicken may contain kidneys? What if kidneys are my favourite part of the chicken? MUST CONTAIN KIDNEYS!

Great White White Wine is a fortified wine and it’s the worst thing ever. Colloquially it’s know as “Shark Piss”. It’s only sold in the Maritimes. I think that it’s illegal in the rest of the country.

I think all these air bags were used to protect a package of gum.

This graveyard photo was way spookier before Instagram processed it.

Yes, public telephones still exist. Although, I’m not sure if this one is still in service. I should have picked the receiver up and listened for a dial tone.

BLAH. BLAH. BLAH. UNTIL NEXT TIME. BLAH. BLAH. BLAH.

I know you’re dying for more photos from my craptastical Instagram account, and I shall not disappoint you, my lovelies!

I love sneakers. They’re practically the only things I ever wear on my feet.

This daddy long legs was on my bedroom wall. Spying on me, it was.

I like spiders, actually because they eat critters that I don’t like.

This chai tea didn’t really taste like pumpkins at all.

This is my dead grandparent’s attic. The ladder leading to it is right next to the stairs, so your likelihood of killing yourself entering or exiting the attic is high.

This is the weird closet in my dead grandparent’s basement. It had some sort of weird nest in the corner.

These are the stairs in my dead grandparent’s house. The handrail looks like some sort of animals clawed it up.

This is my dead grandfather’s worktable. He used to do framing for art.

This looks like a Pandora charm bracelet… But it’s not.

Why, yes, I did need two brownies.

I need to stop buying garbage cuts of meat.

Yum! Nothing like the Sobey’s store brand sweets.

Day one of eating chocolate…

Day two of eating chocolate…

Day three of eating chocolate…

Day four of eating chocolate…

Day five of eating chocolates and then there were no more chocolates to be had, but, like, they were only little chocolates, so I’m not a pig or nothing. *shifty eyes*

I got a letter in the mail soliciting donation for The Nova Scotia How For Colored Children. Who uses the term “colored” anymore? Why the Hell would they I’d give money to them? Apparently, a bunch of children were abused there, so, really, the balls on these people daring to ask for money.

All these vegetables were for a slow cooker recipe. I forget what meat they were cooked with.

Two of those things are Christmas crackers. I hear that they don’t have crackers in the United States for their holidays? That seems sad.

Done with this post, but there’s still so much more. SO MUCH MORE!

What!? More photos from my Instagram account? What is this, some sort of miracle?

Welcome to Canada, where we put maple syrup on everything.

I thought that “Fashion Stamper Tampon Mode” sounded funny. I am a child.

This weird photo was for a project I ended up not doing. Hey, look, you can see me in the reflection on the TV screen.

I like buying those hanging baskets of pansies from the grocery store and murdering them through my horticultural ineptitude.

If you look closely, you can see a little bug dude hanging out in these blossoms.

These are pretty much the same as the previous crabapple blossoms, only these ones are more whiter and junk.

Wild strawberries are very tasty, but I like to leave them for the birds.

Lily-of-the-valley flowers are so cute. They smell good too.

I always thought that dandelions were very pretty and they’re much more interesting than a boring homogeneous lawn.

I totally forgot these flowers.

In certain suburbs, there are some many lilac bushes that the smell can become overpowering. I think it’s places where lots of old ladies live. Old ladies love lilacs.

I found this gross tick on my doggy. Apparently, you’re supposed save ticks that bite you or your pet, because they can autopsy them to look for diseases. It means that you have to keep a bag with a gross dead tick sitting around your house, though.

No Name does too make good food. I am not cheap or anyhing. *shifty eyes*

Is there a meat they can’t flake?

Yep. That sure is a crack alright.

Oranges are nutritious and junk. Is the nail on my thumb too long here? I don’t know from nail grooming.

These are crap for drawing with and crap for writing with.

Can you spot the deer in this field? I can’t.

My older brother got me this giant thing of cheese puffs from Target for my birthday, because my brother is weird. Anyway, there is no more Target in Canada, but I still have a bunch of their cheese puffs to eat.

Why are the zippers on things always breaking on me? These boots weren’t even that old. Is it because they’re using crappy nylon zippers, now, instead of metal ones?

20 more photos, but still many more to go…

Hey! Who wants to see some more of my terrible, terrible Instagram photography? Everybody! Everybody, that’s who!

This was from some weird project called “Chameleon Cars”. You were supposed to match cars with their surroundings. Well, you supposed to use actual cars. I used toy cars instead, just to be a smartass.

The grass had not been mown in a while…

I think that that volleyball was used once before it was thrown into a corner of the garage and forgotten.

You can sort of see me in the reflection there.

Bananaphone nearly drove our mother to murder us. Raffi is the devil.

Is orange soda or grape soda the greatest soda? I will drink both!

Gotta love that ring on the table…

My mom told me to decorate our family’s crappy fake Christmass tree, so I put my chili lights on it. She did not appreciate this.

And here is the same Christmas tree decorated “properly”. Bleh.

This a Real Ghostbusters toy. It’s much better than a Fake Ghostbusters toy.

These are the underpants I got for Christmas in 2012.

Hey, it’s the DSLR I got myself so that I could take better photos, but I still mostly use my crappy cellphone, because, unlike this big guy, I can fit a cellphone in my purse.

I broke the laces on one of my Doc Martens and the only laces I had to replace them were brown. I was so ashamed of myself.

This is a Chewbacca toy, I guess. I think… It might be a bootleg.

I saw this weird thing in a thrift store. It might be a candle holder? Anyway, the cats look like they’re doing a Nazi salute.

It’s a Darth Vader doll wearing bunny ears for Easter! Why is this a thing that exists? I blame Disney.

This is Thrills Gum. It tastes like soap. Don’t ask. It’s a Canadian thing.

These hardly tasted like Cadbury Creme Eggs at all.

I wonder, if you swabbed the seat on one these Walmart scooters, what kind of horrible germs would you find?

This was Easter Dinner 2013. It was very tasty.

Whelp, that’s all for this post. I think I’m going to limit the dumps to twenty photos. Yeah, that seems like a good number.

I don’t really trust other websites with my files, so I’m backing up my Instagram photos here. A lot of these are complete crap, but I was unable to decide on a methodology for determining which ones should stay or go, so I’m uploading them all.

I made this cake for my birthday. It had to be a gluten-fee cake, because my brother, Alex, has celiac disease.

I thought it was really weird just how straight this banana was.

It’s a USB to PS/2 adapter attached to a PS/2 to MIDI adapter. I couldn’t get anything to work when attached to this configuration.

Fun Fact: I passed out on a tour of the Forty Creek Distillery, because I had been fed recalled beef the night before. At least I didn’t die of listeria!

This is fleabane. It doesn’t really keep fleas away.

What’s the difference between a she-dagger and a he-dagger?

This is my first-ever arst-fartsy Instagram photo. DOESN’T IT SUCK?

These are some crude, yet mystical, digging tools.

The pig really ties this whole composition together.

I wonder where this bolt came from? Something probably has compromised structural integrity now.

The Eight of Cup tarot card means that we’re all doomed. DOOMED!

Who the Hell would want to buy a bunch of janky, old naked Barbies?

Yep. That sure is a box of bran flakes.

I have owned a lot of different pairs of glasses in my life.

Why am I so blind?

Isn’t Autumn beautiful?

We had this cranberry bush in our backyard my whole life and I have never tasted the berries. I’m not even sure if they’re the kind you can eat.

My mom found this Christmas tree thing at the dump. It think that it should have stayed there.

I never opened this Resurrection Eggs thing, because the container was really grody-looking, but now I kinda wished that I had.

A brown car on a brown boot. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!

Well, that is all for now. There will be more later. Instagram doesn’t let you right-click save photos, so this has been a really annoying process.